Bryant opens the door, inside sits The Captain. Neat stacks of paper sit atop the small table in the room, he is writing. I would imagine he's doing the math involved in running such a unit; I have never understood much about the logistics of keeping us all equipped, fed, and housed. His gear sits neatly bundled by the door, we pass it as we enter.
“Sir!” Bryant and I salute, then Bryant goes and stands in the corner, The Captain gestures for me to sit at the other end of his table.
“Leo, what the hell is going on with you?”
“I've been a bit distracted lately. Remind me of what's wrong.”
“Distracted!? That's what you have to say? Remind you?” frustration lines his brow, “Fine! For a while now, you've been reckless Leo. I'd have called you up here sooner if you had any family that I'd have to write a letter to if you died working out there, but it's just you. If you wanted to find yourself a glorious death in battle that was your business, but lately you've been downright dangerous. Have you noticed how all of the new recruits and some of the veterans have been avoiding you? The way you fight in a line is a hazard to both sides, anymore. You swing that huge sword of yours without any regard to those near you, some of the men think you're threatening them. I can't even put rookies next to you anymore, for their own safety.
“You go off with total disregard for enemy archers, I can't imagine how you manage to avoid all of those arrows. Have you ever been hit by one? If only you could teach something like that to the unit.
“This last job though, if it were a real enemy, not just some piss poor orcs equipped with barely enough to fight, you'd have gotten some people killed. We were prepped for an ambush, a clean sweep through. Why would you do that? You aren't some young greenhorn itching for his first real fight, you know better than to charge in without the order, don't you? You turned a clean sweep into a real fight. If anyone had died I wouldn't even be talking to you now, I'd have just discharged you on the spot.
“I've had Bryant looking after you between engagements for a few months, you don't show any of the signs of berserking or the blood madness I've seen grow all too often in men that have been fighting as long as you.”
Bryant chimes in with his usual fast paced cant when speaking of such things, “It's strange actually, you show some symptoms but in the end its all wrong. There's none of the post combat fatigue seen in berserkers, you actually seem quite rested. Nor is there the blatant disregard for defense. You still parry dodge and fall back at appropriate times when fighting in melee, and your swings are still tactical, I would even say borderline elegant. Yet you have blatant disregard for opposing numbers and, as the captain said, archers. While you do go for killing blows whenever you fight, a token sign of blood madness, you let anyone that drops their weapon retreat, which is something that someone that truly has the madness would never do. Also, you seem quite normal out of battle, those with blood madness are prone to violent outbursts regardless of environment. Even now while being confronted, you seem calm albeit a little confused or worried.”
The Captain gives Bryant a nod. Bryant salutes and leaves, “You are an excellent warrior, if you weren't you'd be dead by now, and if you weren't dead I'd have fired you. As much trouble as you've caused I don't want to just drop you and be responsible for what happens then.”
He sighs, clearly he doesn't like having to say this. “Listen you've been in this company since before I was captain. If you hadn't endorsed me, I think most of the veterans would have left. I can't just let you keep going on like this though. I'd like to keep you off the battlefield, focus you on training the new blood, we both know you're good at it.”
“Captain, you already know how I...”
He cuts me off, “Yes I do, but just now I've decided to give you a choice. You say you've been distracted lately, I don't like to pry but if you think I can help, I will. If not; you can take leave from our band on half pay for one year at most to wrap up whatever your problem is and come back, you can stay and train the recruits and hope your problem leaves on its own, or you can quit.”
“Sir...”
“Not up for discussion Leo, those are your choices, make one by the time everyone is ready to move out.”
He's giving me a lot of leeway just there. He cares about his men. That, and the fact that he's just about a genius at moving men on the field are why I put his name forward when old captain Greenfield retired. This company is almost all I've known for the last fifteen years, closest I've had to a family since my real one died. Have I really been acting that way when I've been blacking out? No one confronted me about it? I can't just let them know about these blackouts, the fact that I haven't brought them up so long, letting such a dangerous thing slip... I've got to figure this out alone, for my own sake.
“I'll be taking leave sir, I'll wrap this up on my own. I think it's a bit too personal to get anyone else wrapped up in. I'm sorry for having caused you so much trouble.”
He writes something down and hands me the paper, “This will get you a quarter of a year's pay, just give it to Paymaster Derrick. If you think it'll take you the full year I'm sure you'll be able to find us. You know how the equipment has been lately, so I'm afraid you'll have to go with just personal possessions. Be sure to grab a decent supply of rations, though. There's a small bonus in there to help you get some new armor, as well. I know you've spent all of your money on enhancing that claymore you've been carrying around all this time, always relying on the company's armor stores. I will be glad to have you back whenever you've fixed things up, take too long and I'll cut you back to rookie pay though, so hurry it up.”
“Sir!” I salute and leave. What did I just do? I don't know what the problem even is yet, well I have a year to figure this out. I can get by for a while on half pay, I think... Maybe never paying attention to logistics was a bad move...
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